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Verbal Attacks - Should You Stay and Maybe Fight, or Leave?

Author: Keith Pascal
Date Posted: August 25, 2007

In the following situation, would you have stayed and verbally defended yourself, or would you have left?

What about in general? Is it worth it to stick up for yourself when strangers get in your face, or should you avoid conflict?

As the editor or one of the longest-running martial-arts ezines on the Internet, Martial Arts Mastery, subscribers often write asking for advice, or wondering if they behaved correctly in during a specific encounter.

One reader wrote in for advice. Did he do the right thing?

Just Sitting on the Steps Minding Their Own Business ...

He went to a temple with his friend. The two were sitting on the steps when a man approached.

Instead of taking any of the other paths to the side of where the young men were sitting, the stranger headed straight for the two youths.

Our subscriber, seeing the man approaching, got up, and allowed the man to pass. (Courteous gesture.)

When the man returned, he started antagonizing our subscriber's friend, verbally. (Perhaps this second teen stayed seated, seeing that the man had enough room to pass, when the other teen moved out of the way.)

Anyway, the man was yelling and cursing. Our subscriber wanted to do something, but he didn't.

His friend apologized, even though he hadn't done a thing, and the man finally left. Our reader, the teen who moved, wanted to know if he should have taken the risk and fought.

Practical Answer -- Should He Have Fought?

He did the right thing by getting up and leaving.

In general, no -- you should not fight.

The underlying question is should one fight when one is verbally hassled?

My answer is still a resounding "No."

I don't know about you, but I am not a fighter -- I am a martial artist.

My philosophy, ingrained by someone wiser than I, is to avoid fighting when possible. Stay safe.

As our reader pointed out in his letter, he didn't know if the guy had a weapon or not. Also, our reader felt that the guy was prepared and he wasn't.

Hey, if you aren't prepared and can avoid fighting, that's another reason.

Also, never fight, if you can't win. (Makes sense, right?)

Don't get stabbed or shot over someone stepping on the step where you were sitting.

Let’s Analyze The Specific Situation

Is a temple a place for violence? What was the purpose of attending the temple?

* To pray?

* For meditation?

* A museum visit?

(Do you really want to disturb the peace of a temple?)

Let's talk about the stranger for a minute:

Why was he yelling? Did he feel, right or wrong, that someone was blocking his way?

Was he looking for some response from the friend that would have instantly dissipated the anger?

We don't know what excess baggage he brought into the confrontation:

Did he just come from a fight with his girlfriend?

Did he lose his job?

Did he just find out his wife had cancer?

(What was the man's purpose for visiting a temple?)

Why did he yell at the youth after leaving the temple? What news did he find out while inside?

Conclusion -- What's Your Fighting Philosophy?

Do you have a set of guidelines in place for when you will defend yourself and when you will just leave?

To get you started:

Only fight when you really have to.

Try not to let others dictate when you will or won't fight.

Someone else's baggage usually shouldn't be enough reason for you to risk legal ramification, broken bones, or the mental anguish of permanently injuring someone (even if it's justified).

Maybe plan on talking, until you can't reason with the person anymore.

Almost always prefer to leave, when you can.

Personally, once the other person starts to make a truly violent move, all bets are off.

I react.

In a nutshell, avoid the situation as long as you can. Do everything in your power to dissolve the anger -- up to a point. When that point is crossed -- and it's a question of personal safety issues, then you may have to 'deal with the situation.

About The Author

Keith Pascal is the author of Tiptoeing to Tranquility: The Parable for Finding Safety and Comfort in Dangerous Times. This book is filled with practical tips for both non martial artists and martial enthusiasts alike.

Move Through Life With Calm Confidence...

http://www.TiptoeingToTranquility.com

Article Source: JKD Street Combat - online collection of General Interest articles.

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